can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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