..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
