How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
