I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
