took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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