? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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