One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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