Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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