she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
