I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize