but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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