I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize