just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize