i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
