don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
