we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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