yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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