So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
