Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
