He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
