dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
