So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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