i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My brain says no but my pants say off.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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