Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
