Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
