he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
