u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just puked most of my soul out..
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
