i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
