It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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