So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
