Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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