Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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