I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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