The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
