It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
