kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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