You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
