We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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