the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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