No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
