I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize