watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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