So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
