You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You're like the curious george of whores
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize