She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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