I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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