I think i sorta joined a cult last night
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
