I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
