STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
