At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
