He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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