what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
