I think I died a long time ago.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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