I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize