I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
