She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
