Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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