Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
